In our lives, whether we are young or old, we all come across different people. We may even develop friendships with these people which may end up lasting a few years. In those years, we often end up surmising that we are somehow going to be best friends with them for the rest of our lives. We may soon after end up having our friendships cut short and ended; much to our own shock. People and relationships are like the seasons; they come and go. People come into our own lives for a certain period of time to help teach us a lesson. Their presences in our lives even serve to help us grow and become better. However, the friendship or relationship ends because it served its purpose and is of no use any longer. The time comes for an end and that chapter of our life closes. We may be best friends with one or two people from high school or college but that close relationship begins to become less close and you begin to spend less time with them. You may end up finding your partner and have to spend more time with that person. You may end up working a job or running your own business which takes up your time. As your marriage and or your career develops and grows further, you may begin to grow more distant from your friends. Your first child is born or your career is taken up to another level and the amount of time you spend with your high school or college friends drops rapidly. Sometimes, our friendships with friends from high school or college are only meant for that period in our lives. We may not grasp that the reason that we were friends with those people in the first place was because of our relative immaturity at that time. Once we try to touch base with our friends after so long through all of your growth in maturity and in life, we may get surprised by how immature our friends still are. We then realize that our relationships dissipated for a reason through the guidance of the Most High. He puts us on a path away from them because those people already served their purpose in our lives and He sees that our growth will only come when we distance ourselves further away from them and so He puts us on that path. It is not necessary for us to crap on our old friends but it is rather that we keep those friendships in its proper order.
Our lives are meant to go on upwards; not in stagnation. Some people out of fear or a lack of desire keep themselves tethered to their friends because they don’t want to grow up or become independent themselves. They are perpetual children and see that it is easier to just live in those high school or fraternity/sorority bubbles. Often times, you see this occur with the most popular students in high school or college. When you catch up with what they are doing, you end up discovering that they’re in terrible position in their lives. They’re often either struggling financially, addicted to drugs or alcohol, stuck in the party life, in prison or at worst are dead. One of the main reasons for this is because they didn’t develop that courage to grow up and take that next step in their lives towards personal maturity and growth. They chose to stay in that bubble with their high school friends and college friends who also chose to stay in that bubble and not grow up; to their own detriment.
However, this is not the case with all of our friends from high school or college. Some of our friends did take that next step and are growing as well. They may mature or grow to become better individuals. They may end up developing their own businesses and having their own children. If it is meant for you, that friendship will last beyond high school and college. Even in life if you end up falling out with a good friend, you often end up reconciling and coming back together down the road. That happens when the Most High has set that person to be in your life for the long run. The Most High only puts maybe one or two people in your life who will last until your last days if He so sees fit. About 99.9% of the people we develop relationships with in our lives do not stick around for the long run. Honestly, about 99.9% of the people we generally come across are not worth our time whatsoever. The people or potential interests we have are stressed over for no reason and end up not amounting to anything. They don’t amount to anything themselves. After you had gotten over those people and finally grew yourself, you see what that person has amounted to during the time of your own personal growth and you see just how much they had regressed. The Most High stops certain relationships that you want from developing because He has plans for you and knows that the person you are trying to grow closer to is not going to amount to anything so He spares you and keeps those desired relationships from developing any further. You only see why that relationship didn’t develop once you see the end result where you had grown for the better and that person of interest regressed. That is why we are not to stress not getting with that one person or going further in our friendship with that other person.
When we don’t accept the Most High’s attempt to spare us from that person, we end up falling into a toxic rapport with that person after the honeymoon phase. The honeymoon phase consists of our own delusion in thinking we found the right person or friend while on the flip side it consists of the partner or friend’s momentary satisfaction and joy because you are doing everything for them and are inflating their ego into believing that they are more than what they are. Most partners or friends are already massively insecure which is why they let on with your persistent catering to them for the moment. Insecure people go by their emotions which means that they are not balanced whatsoever. They are whimsical and go by their own emotions in that certain time. One minute they are totally invested in you and in the next minute, they don’t want to be involved with you in any form or fashion. They cannot establish proper structure or order in their lives which contributes to their constant moving state where they feel the need to move onto another relationship or friendship. They need to feel that they are of the right crowd at the right moment so they end up becoming immersed into relationships with people from the wrong crowds. When you do something out of desperation in life when it pertains to careers or friendships or relationships, you’re never going to make the right decision. The right decision is only made when you do it with proper judgment and understanding from a place of rationale and not emotionality which breeds whimsicality that in turn brings forth dysfunction and confusion in your life. When we invest all of our time and energy into people like this, we only end up setting ourselves up for massive disappointment and for our hearts to be crushed; meaning our minds. In that honeymoon phase of our relationships, we end up conjuring up all of these thoughts in our mind where we think that this partner or friend is going to be with us forever and all that nonsense. Nothing in the flesh is ever going to last forever. People come and go as the seasons come and go. Nothing in the flesh is absolute. It is very dangerous to give ourselves over completely to another person; whether it is in a relationship or friendship. This is especially when the person we are investing in is completely whimsical in nature and is given over to their own folly and goes off by their own emotions. We are only setting ourselves up for failure. Think about all those stories where these men end up murdering their girlfriends and at worse their children after they find out that they cheated or want to end their relationship. Those are men who got caught up in that honeymoon paradigm by their own doing where they invested all their heart into a person which is the most dangerous thing that you can do in this life. People who invest all of their being into other people are the most mentally and emotionally unstable people out there. This is why they react in the most aggressive way possible. When you are unstable, you swing into two extreme directions of the emotional spectrum. You either swing over to the right end where you are in “cloud nine” and believe that you are going to be with this person forever and you end up investing your time, energy, money, and soul into them. Or you end up swinging over to the left end where you are brought down to reality and realize that all of your investment in that person was in vain and you end up lashing out in a very extreme and wild manner. This is what happens when you invest all of your being into another person who is extremely insecure, immature, and unstable. We are only supposed to invest all of our being into the Most High and His Son. The Most High is absolute and will never change. The Word will stay the same tomorrow as it is today. The same cannot be said for people. We might think that this one person in our life is going to be there for the long run but we cannot ever count on that because there is no guarantee in this life; especially when it comes to people. We can only count on ourselves to do better and to grow. We cannot count on others to stick in for the long run and be there with us through thick and thin. Some of us may have been through hardship and we had to do it all by ourselves without any other partner or friend to rely upon. We only had ourselves to depend on to carry on and stay strong through our most difficult times. When we hit rock bottom and are without any friends or even family to help us through these times, we can only depend on the Most High to help us persevere. He is the only one who will be there for us through thick and thin. However, He will only be there for us during these times if we are always there for Him through adherence to the laws, statutes, and commandments. It is through this adherence and our own work that we give ourselves over wholly to Him. This is the only relationship in our lives which will be guaranteed to bring forth fruit. There is no guarantee that any of our friendships or relationships are going to bear fruit. The people we roll with may be cool but they a lot of the times may not actually be uplifting us for growth in any way. That is ok because we are supposed to depend on ourselves to grow and lead ourselves to be better as individuals; not other people. We can still kick it with friends every now and then just to chop it up and maybe get some food or talk about certain things. It is good to decompress every once in a while with some of them. However, it should not be an everyday thing; especially when they are still stuck in that juvenile bubble. They have their purpose.
The main point which we come to now is that we should not invest any of our being slavishly over to another person; whether they are a friend or a partner. When we do this, we are subject to the will of our friends and partners. We become desperate to fulfill their demands because we often fear being alone or not being a part of the “it” crowd. We feel that there are too many things in which we jeopardize missing out on and therefore submit to the whims of that crowd when in reality we are not going to miss out on anything at all.
Our friends may try to persuade us to go to that one party this one night just “to chill”. After we submit to their command, they try and pry us to party more and more. After submitting to this and partying more, they begin to try and pry us to dabble with alcohol or weed. Easy people often submit to this and end up dabbling with alcohol or weed because they think that this is what is going to make them seem cool in the eyes of everyone else. Most people live for validation from others. They therefore do anything they can to try and get that validation by posing and smoking weed and drinking to look cool for social media and their friends. It only opens up more problems for them. This is the same dynamic with attention seekers. People do obscene and wild things just to gain attention and followers. The people with the most followers are subject to the whims of society and their followers i.e. going along with the trend. When you go along with the trend, you have no self identity. You are simply a vessel for the whimsicalities and vanities of society. The emptiest things which are discussed garners the most viewers because it caters to the lowest common denominators of thought and truthfully, most people in society whether young or old think on a very low level. It has never been easier to make money and gain attention off of promoting stupidity and it has never been harder to gain exposure from promoting a spiritual message because more and more people are falling into that vortex of vanity and the chase for external validation.
Considering the times in which we are in, we are supposed to sharpen our minds and to have clarity. It never will serve us any good whatsoever if we are constantly getting high, doing drugs, or doing hard drinking. When you dabble in those things for the purpose of appeasing the crowd and your toxic friends, you are only creating the path to your own demise. When you hit rock bottom from getting into those things, those same toxic friends who lured you into those destructive addictions will bail on you in a heartbeat and then you are at an even worse position than you were at first where there was a threat of not having any friends. Now, you are left with no one and are stuck with a major addiction problem.
It doesn’t even have to be drugs or weed or alcohol. It can be them changing your way of thinking for worse. Being around toxic friends long enough can lead to you taking on their spirit and being just as hateful and spiteful as they are. As you immerse yourself more in your fruitless friendship with these toxic individuals, you end up sharing their characteristics of being petty and hating on others who are doing well for themselves just for the sake of doing so. You may also end up exhibiting the same toxic trait of hating someone simply for the reason that this person may think differently than you. Even in truth, we don’t embody hatred for people who think differently than us. We disagree and we move on with our lives because we are too focused on our own path to progression. We don’t occupy ourselves with hating others and gossip because all that does is waste time while the world is passing by us and other people are doing good for themselves while you are still stuck in that same toxic bubble with those toxic friends you have. All it does is breed negativity. When there are nobody else to hate on or be negative towards, your toxic friends end up turning on you and each other because hate is a force of destruction. The more hate carries on, the more it passes through your life and destroys your relationships, friendships, and eventually yourself.
If we manage to come out of our toxicity and leave those toxic friends behind, we end up realizing just how fruitless our time with them was and that we are not to give ourselves over to others. When we give ourselves over to others who are toxic, we are giving them permission to do whatever they want with us and to use us as proverbial punching bags so they can take out their hatred and toxicity out on others. These types of people only are able to get gratification or satisfaction by making you miserable. They are unable to have respect or love for anyone because they don’t respect or love themselves. You should not by any means ever give yourself over to anyone who does not respect themselves because they for sure won’t respect you. It is the biggest trap that you can get yourself into which is submitting to the will of toxic people in your life. We are to remove these people out of our lives in the fastest way possible.
In closing, having toxic friendships is one of the easiest ways to precipitate your own self-destruction and bring forth dysfunction and disorder in your life. It is very hard to get out of that dynamic after the fact when the damage has already been done after you have already given yourself over to those toxic individuals. It is up to us to understand and remember however toxic people may perceive us; it should never be of any higher regard than how we view ourselves and to an even greater degree how the Most High views us. Our relationship with the Most High and His Son is the only relationship in our lives which we should give ourselves completely over to in spirit, mind, body, and soul. The quicker we end toxic friendships and relationships, the quicker we save ourselves from dysfunction and chaos. Order is the most important thing which we must establish in our lives in order to stay strong and grow for the long run. That can only be established by giving ourselves over to the Most High and loving Him with all our heart. That is the only way.
All Praises to the Most High Yahweh Elohim and Son Yahweh Ben Yahweh. Peace and Blessings.